Loveless
by SilverRockets
Summary: Johanna is pulled away from a lovely dream by someone knocking on her door in the dead of night. A familiar ghost of her past invites her to a pleasant walk through the skirts of Twinleaf Town, with only the light of the moon to guide them. Obviously, she accepts. A late Valentine's Day short fic.


**Loveless**

* * *

 **Silver Notes:** This takes place between chapter 18 and 19 of Child of Thorns, but it has no real spoilers.

* * *

Johanna had been cruising through the tides of such a pleasant, wonderful dream that waking up almost felt insulting.

Back to the real world, with its stale air and tough pillows. She'd been sleeping on her side with one cheek resting on the inside of her arm, like a stretched Glameow. She tried to move, and her muscles felt as stiff as planks. She did not remember anything of her dream, but still felt the deep sadness of having lost something precious.

With lazy movements she got to her feet and faced the door of her room. Someone had knocked on the door below, and even half asleep she knew she should answer it, for few people would want to visit in the dead of night. A searing fear sat on her heart; what if it was Sarah, holding urgent news? What if Shadi's Pokemon had been seen again or worse, what if something had happened to Inyssa?

She pushed the thought out of her mind as she walked down the stairs. There was not a speck of light near, and yet her feet found each step with ease, muscle memory alone guiding her. Her balance had improved exponentially since she'd made the effort to stop drinking.

She finally reached the front door, and as her feet touched the doormat a small light flickered to life above, casting dark shadows under the hair covering her face. She opened the door without dawdling, without even looking through the peephole.

The whole of her was still mostly asleep, or to better describe it in the early process of waking itself up. Maybe that's why she had to stare at the person on the other side of the door for a few seconds before recognition hit her. Or perhaps it was the fact that her eyes had seen the woman exude shadows out of her being, if only for a simple moment.

Her gaze went from her feet up, following the pale, translucid stilts to the thin dress hanging from her shoulders by thread-thin straps. It was more like a nightgown, purple and adorned with the spider web cracks of yellow constellations. On top of her pale shoulders she wore an almost transparent shawl of the same color, its tips waving slightly at her right and left.

The woman's painted lips stretched into a familiar smile, one that unconsciously beckoned Johanna to look at her directly. Her face was half obscured by shadows, and yet she recognized her instantly. How could she not?

"F-Fantina?" She asked, half hopeful and half fearful.

The woman gave the faintest of nods, her chest rising with her sudden inhalation.

"It's been so long, dear," she said. "I was hoping I could take you for a walk in this lovely night."

* * *

It took Johanna a couple minutes to change into an acceptable outfit for a midnight stroll. Fantina turned towards her the moment she came down from the stairs, and she had to struggle not to let her breath leave her. A flimsy thing it was; it tended to escape her lungs every time her gaze fell on a lovely woman.

And there was no one more lovely than her. Even with her hair tangled, those heavy bags under her eyes and the most common of clothes adorning her. She was perfect, if not flawless. Fantina had to contain her tongue, lest it go around saying what was in her mind at the moment.

She offered Johanna her arm, and once she interlaced it with hers they began to walk. For a few minutes there was simply silence, until they left the town behind. As the road changed from cement to dirt and tall grass began to appear around her, Johanna's shoulders became tenser and tenser. She looked like a young, frightened Deerling lost in the night.

"What if there are wild Pokemon around?" she finally asked, voice thinned by the cold around them. "I don't see you carrying any Pokeballs."

She tightened her arm around hers and smiled gently, "I assure you they have better instincts than humans. Not one of them would be suicidal enough to attack me."

As much as she tried to contain it there was a noticeable, dark glee to the tone of her voice, and for a moment, the temperature around her body seemed to drop.

"I… guess you're right," Johanna smiled back, the tightness of her shoulders relaxing slightly.

They kept walking, their steps echoing in the hollow night. The grip of their arms was slightly stronger than it should've been, and a lot more eager than either of them wanted to admit.

"How familiar this place looks," Fantina broke the silence, looking all around at the moonlight reflecting off the tall grass and pine trees. "I wonder why…" she added, curving her lips up in a mischievous smile.

"A true mystery," Johanna said, trying not to mirror her. "If anyone knows why, it might be prudent of them to keep their lips sealed. The moon spies us from above, and she's terrible at keeping secrets."

Fantina almost laughed in glee, delighted that Johanna had remembered. She'd just quoted a part from _The Hollow Forest_ , an old play they'd gotten to perform a few times for contests in their youth.

"The searing cold, the wilt of the branches towards the wind…" Fantina whispered, "…it makes me think of an old, familiar story."

"Is that so? And what might the story be about?"

She was almost frightened by how quickly their awkward talking had devolved into their old, theatrical banter. Back when they were still young and hopeful, back when they had so many contests to attend to that it wasn't rare for them to speak in verse or recite theater spiels without meaning to.

"Oh, it's a tale as old as time, surely you've heard of it." Fantina sighed, craning her neck to the side ever so slightly. "A young, witless girl and a beautiful creature of Fae meet and fall in love, but fate does not wish them together."

Their eyes met for a short moment that felt like an eternity. Understanding, memories and a million unsaid words flashed between them.

Johanna was the one to break eye contact, looking ahead as she kept walking, "I might have heard of it, though it is possible I need a reminder."

"I doubt you're wholly unfamiliar with it," Fantina shrugged, trying to hide a smile. "There was once a young girl with flowing purple hair and eyes like polished amethyst. She was inexperienced but ambitious, and before long she'd made a name for herself as one of the most promising contest stars in all of Sinnoh…"

She slipped in a small pause between her sentences, as so she could see Johanna's reaction. Her expression was as blank as the moon, but a miniscule twitch close to her lips told her she was struggling not to smile.

"…Unfortunately, she was soon to meet one that would best her. In her travels she found herself in a small, snow covered town called Twinleaf, and that's when she saw her," she closed her eyes smelling in the cold air. "She moved like a Fae dancing in the surface of a moonlit lake, and her very beauty would bring minstrels to tears."

"You know how people like to exaggerate stories," Johanna added, laughter bubbling under her voice. "I'm sure she was nothing special."

"Oh, but to the witless girl she was," Fantina nodded with certainty. "For you see, this strange and beautiful creature cast a terrible curse on her."

"Horror of horrors!" Johanna placed one palm on her cheek, gasping theatrically. "How could this creature be so cruel?"

"Alas, she was only as cruel as love can be. She stole the girl's breath away, and set forth a condition for her to get it back." Her lips pursed for a moment. "The girl was to teach this wild and wonderful creature the arts she'd been studying all her life. She was to spend time with her and show her how to become a contest star, how to ensure that the entire world would be as infatuated with her as the poor girl was.

"What could she do but accept? And as such, this creature of Fae learned and, little by little, she began to return the girl's breath back, along with some of her own."

Johanna rolled her eyes, "She returned more than that in the version I know."

"Yeah, well…" Fantina cocked her head to the side, her lips stretching into a sly smile, "…this is the censored version. You can never know if there are children around listening to the story."

There was silence for a moment, and then they both broke into laughter. The sudden kind, the one that bubbles from the stomach up and is impossible to contain. Fantina's laugh was wild and terrible as a storm, while Johanna's was high pitched and sloppy, though still beautiful. Her bright teeth caught a piece of moonlight and shone it back to her, leaving Fantina truly breathless.

But soon the laughter faded, and with it the levity of the situation did as well. For an uncomfortable stretch of time they stood there, staring at each other with something akin to regret clouding their expression.

They both knew how the story ended, after all. After walking through life together, they realized the grim, unavoidable truth. Their paths did not lead to the same destination.

After all that had happened in Johanna's life, there was nothing she wanted more than to create her own family. Fantina, on the other hand, was terrified of the idea. All throughout her life she'd skittered too close to the dark end of those who specialized in ghost type Pokemon. She'd found power where power was best left alone, and gathered knowledge in places knowledge should be forgotten.

She could do things. Terrible, breathtaking things that could tear a person's will to shreds or terrify them out of their mind. She had never used what she'd learnt on others, but the fear remained in her heart. What if some of her nature passed on to her children? What if, Synn forbid, that terrible darkness inside her took hold of Johanna's new family?

No, she could not bear the thought. There was a reason those who mastered the ghost type were often reclusive and without families. She would not dare destroy the dreams of the one she loved most. As such, Fantina was forced to give up her heart's desire in order to protect it.

They had gone their separate ways since then, only occasionally meeting up to have a pleasant talk together.

She sighed, looking to the side. Johanna spoke moments after.

"Fantina… why are you here?" she asked, barely above a whisper. "Don't get me wrong, it's lovely to see you but… I'm sure there must be a reason."

She couldn't help but smirk. For all her training in theatrics Johanna did not have much of a flare for dramatic payoffs.

"First and foremost, I would be hard pressed to find something I look forward to more than seeing your radiant features," she said, not a shred of a lie in her voice. "Second… I thought you'd like to know that your daughter has arrived in my city no more than a day ago."

It was like her words broke the peaceful spell around them. As soon as Johanna's eyes went wide the wind became louder, the grass rustled more violently and they could hear the distant sounds of Pokemon cries.

She swallowed, getting the words out with some difficulty, "How… how is she?"

Fantina thought about it for a moment.

"She's absolutely nothing like you."

Johanna's eyebrow went up, "Thanks, I could've told you that myself;" she scoffed. "You know what I meant."

"She is… fine, all things considered," she replied, trying to find the right words. "Though it's clear her heart is as aimless as her path. I had a brief talk with her in my personal quarters, and I have decided to lend her my help. I believe I can do good by her."

"She'll never let you," Johanna shook her head, the tips of her dark hair dancing behind her. "She's as stubborn as a Mudsdale."

"I'll be subtle. In fact I've already thought of a way to teach her a few things."

Concern flashed across Johana's expression for a moment, though it was softened afterwards. She knew Fantina would never try to hurt someone she held close to her heart.

"Though I admit, that's not the only reason I came here," Fantina said. "I… might have found a small job for you."

Johanna couldn't help but let out a choked laugh, "Oh, really?" she asked, raising both eyebrows. "I've already told you I'm not interested in being one of your maids. I've seen how close fitting their uniforms are."

"Baseless accusations." She raised her chin indignantly. "But no, that's not what I had in mind. You see, I'm sure Inyssa will be facing me soon, and you know what I tend to put my challengers through…"

It took Johanna a moment to understand what she was saying, "O-oh… right." Her shoulders dropped. "You… want me to design an outfit for her?"

"I could certainly use your considerable talent for that, yes."

There was a long pause in which the only sound around them was that of their breathing. Fantina stood still as a stone, waiting for her response.

"I… don't know. I don't think she wants me around…"

"That can always change," Fantina offered. "Who would know her tastes better than you? It might be a chance for both of you to grow closer."

Another pause, though this one was shorter and less heavy. She felt the atmosphere change subtly, and saw as Johanna's eyebrows slowly separated and the close tangle of her fingers uncurled from a fist.

"I'll… try," she said, as if the act of speaking those words left her exhausted. "I'll do my best. For her, and for you."

Fantina nodded solemnly, "Let it be so. I'll make sure to save you a room in my estate, and we can get started as soon as possible."

She knew then that the conversation had come to a close, even if she didn't want to acknowledge it. She'd been a performer for long enough to know when it was pointless to push a certain subject forward.

So she tried to free the woman's arm from her own but, unexpectedly, Johanna held to it as if it were her lifeline.

Startled, Fantina turned her head slightly towards her, and saw something deep and indescribable in her shadowed expression, in those bright eyes set on her.

"Thank you…" she whispered, and Fantina noticed her breath smelled like strawberries. "For everything. Even after all this time…"

And for just a moment, as they stared at each other, they were both breathless. Fantina saw as the light of the moon cast a sharp and beautiful shape on Johanna's face, almost like a mask. She recognized almost every part of her features, as familiar to her as the shape of her own hand, and those she didn't she marveled over.

How wonderful she was. How dangerous, and how sad.

In that short moment, there was nothing Fantina wanted more than to pull her close and kiss her, and she knew in her heart that Johanna mirrored her desires. And yet…

It hurt more than clawing out her own heart, but Fantina looked away. Not now, not after such a long time of not seeing each other, she thought. It would've been pointless, and cruel as well.

"Well… I suppose I should go," she said, hating every word she spoke. "I will wait for you in my estate at your earliest convenience."

"Y-yeah…"

She could feel the disappointment in Johanna's voice, and felt her glare on her back, but she could not turn back. If she caught even the smallest glimpse of her, she might not be able to contain herself again. Smiling sadly to herself, she let her shoulders drop. A familiar quote from her favorite play blossomed in her mind.

 _I suppose I'm destined to be loveless._

With sorrow and regret moving her, Fantina took one step away from her, towards the nearby trees.

"See you soon, then."

And with that she walked between two bent willows, and disappeared into the shadows.


End file.
